So, oddly enough, since the Trump victory (doesn’t that sound like the punchline to something wonderful?), things have been FANTASTIC.

Sorry, can’t help gloating a little.

“‘The Dow’s 8% gain in the five weeks after Donald Trump ’s victory is the biggest surge following any U.S. presidential election in history,’ according to the Wall Street Journal.

On Wednesday the dollar became the strongest it has been against the Euro since 2003 according to Bloomberg. The rise came amidst the Fed announcement of optimism and a rate hike the same day.”

Think of that; a rate hike and optimism at the same time.  That hasn’t happened in a looong time, friends and neighbors.  As I seem to recall, all during what’s-his-name’s (Borax Alabama?  Boogaloo Hissing-Insane (Hussein? Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot?  Seriously?)  Whama-Lama-Ding-Dong?) well, what can we call it, two horrific terms of mediocrity, I mean, um, those historic times when a, well, what shall we charitably say, take him as he was, he was a, well, frankly a national nightmare that is finally ending, or, um, the end of the eight-year-long complaints-from-the-people-who-used-to-be-getting-drinks-for-us, as Hillary’s beard used to say, and now has confirmed every suspicion we’ve had about these wonderfully rhythmic, happy-go-lucky, whining, blaming-everything-bad-that-happens-as-a-result-of-my-own-bad-decisions-but-I’ll-label-that-white-privilege (and am I the only man in America who finds that so tediously boring he could just scream?), and — well, shit, what can I say, I’m on a roll here and the scotch and the medication (it helps to say the last with a long, slow, Russian accent, a la “meed-ee-KA-shun” and that could mean a few things, here in the land of the free and the home of the trial-and-error health care system here in the land of the cock-eye-d-ly optimistic, if you follow my South Pacifican drift — pant, pant –).

I gasp for breath.  Anyway, if I sound like some leftist on amphetamines, it’s because I’m imitating my most disgusting local columnist, and I won’t even mention his name except to say that he’s presently writing for the local newspaper and his initials are the same as a very popular chocolate candy that melts in your mouth but not … well you get the idea.  But I digress.  Like I said, gloating…

Anyway, to get back to things that matter:  that “8% gain” signifies a $1 trillion dollar gain since the election.  Let that sink in.  Since November 8th, all U.S. markets have shown a $1 trillion dollar gain since the election.  Trump hasn’t come close to being sworn in (it’s still a month and three days away, as of this scribble), and already consumer confidence is surging like I don’t know what.  Hot damn.  We may all get rich.  Seriously.

Why is that a bad thing?  This is bigger than the Reagan revolution, when I watched my salary increase from $14K a year to $38K a year in a five year period.  (Note:  these are monetary amounts that seem horrendously small at this point, but back in 1982, $14K was a sufficient salary to raise at least one very small baby and a very large wife on, so there).  I just watched my measly (well, not so measly, but modesty compels) retirement accounts increase in an almost alarming amount, as well as receiving the first dividends over one digit (seriously) of a percentage point on my savings accounts in, um, eight years.

Yowsah.

If this be treason, let us make the most of it.  I feel so … vindicated.

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