The title explains what it feels like, for me, going to visit my in-laws.  Nearly all of them either work for the state government (California), or are retired bureaucrats.  They are as liberal as liberal can be.  Image
Anywhoo, (dang, I wish I could film some of these visits), here’s the transcript (as near as I can remember) of my last encounter (family dinner).

The participants were my brother-in-law, Fred, my wife’s cousin and Hollywood actor (not big, but steady working), Tim.  The names have been cunningly changed.

The following dialogue came after I was asked what I’d read lately.  The family myth about me is that I’m a bookworm.  Since I’m not a Democrat, and didn’t go to school in California, I read.  For them, it’s a freakish phenomenon they can’t understand.  I’ve never forgotten the silence that overtook the family gathering when I once announced that I’d actually read the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, at least twice through and several times in various parts of it.  Why not?  It’s no harder than reading Gone With The Wind a couple of times, although not as fun.

Anyhow, I had just announced that I’d re-read Case Closed, the book which exhaustively and very conclusively proved that John Kennedy was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald.

Like a retriever sniffing a quail, Fred said:  Didn’t you see JFK?

Me:  Yes.  I also saw Miracle on 34th Street, but I don’t believe in Santa Claus.

Fred:  It’s not the same thing.

Me:  Actually, yes it is.  Tim, I think you’ll back me up on this, right?

Tim:  Eh?

Me:  See, movies are actually a series of films of actors wearing costumes and speaking lines someone else wrote for them.  It’s not reality at all, it’s a fantasy.  I think Tim will bear me out.

Tim:  (Rolling his eyes) Leave me out of this…

Me: Tim, when you were doing that Star Trek: Next Generation episode, were you actually in outer space?

Tim:  (Falls out of his chair, laughing).

The rest of it was a lot of scowls and rolling eyes.  But the part I found most interesting was, here’s a government civil servant, believing that his employers do things like conspire to assassinate presidents.  Sheesh.

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